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September 17, 2015
Please, please take the time to read the article below:
And before you judge the fact that it comes from the website “Total Frat Move”, this is an open letter written from a guy at NC State to his fraternity brother, after hearing of his recent suicide.
I first heard of this horrible tragedy after my youngest brother, who is currently a junior at NC State University, texted me saying that a guy had committed suicide right near where he was attending class.
I could hardly finish reading his text, as my heart began to ache and as I thought of his family. What I tried to phrase in my own words, his fraternity brother beautifully did so in his letter.
I felt I had to share this letter because I, too, have believed the lie that I was alone. I think that we all have. While grace saved me from myself, there are some precious souls who believe they should still jump, that it would be easier. That life, in itself, would be better for everyone if they were gone.
While we may not have taken extremes, I believe we all have felt the sting and agony of hopelessness before. As though our soul is in a box by itself, shut off from the rest of the world, and the world loses it’s color. Life, somehow, has changed and no one around us understands.
It is the danger and the beauty of the human soul. We are characterized by our passion and our zeal, but once sped in the other direction, we understand all too well the feeling of being lost in our own flesh.
We are bubbling over with pride yet paralyzed by our insecurities.
We are surrounded by millions yet sometimes our world has a population of one.
We are brilliant yet we let our thoughts become our own worst enemies.
In this letter it states, “College is a catalytic triad – You must be intelligent, beautiful, and well-liked. Not only that, but it must be done effortlessly.”
I feel as though we can all relate to this triad; whether you are in college or you are 40 years old, these pressures are all too familiar.
The pressure to be perfect while appearing to not be trying at all. What an impossible paradox that we try to make our realities.
My hope is that we will approach life with a little more willingness to be both bold and vulnerable, that we may let others in so that we know we ourselves are not alone and that we may share that truth with others.
This blog may feel heavy, irrelevant and dramatic to some, depending on where you are at in your life. However, I implore you to just remember the fragility of this life and to cherish those around you.
Take time to ask people how they are and really listen to their heart to know the true answer. “Fine” often doesn’t mean fine.
May we ALL be willing to be vulnerable with one another. None of us have it all together, not one of us.
May we never pass judgment on someone just because we don’t understand their story. We only see the outside; and as we can all testify, the timeline we present to the world is often different than the one behind closed doors.
And most of all, may we remember that hope is never, ever lost. Not ever.
I know all of this is so much bigger than a blog and my words could never do this topic justice, but I just had to tell you that you are loved.
And whoever you are, the world is better with you here.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, however your life ends up—always remember that—life is better with you here.
Praying for the family of Joseph Banks and all the Wolfpack family! And extremely thankful for the heart and vulnerability of people like Jean-Luc Banks.
“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:2-5
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