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March 01, 2012
Have you ever heard the phrase, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”? Well, it’s true. Very true. And anytime that I doubt that He knows best, He quickly reminds me why He is in control and not me. Perfect example? My “plans” tonight.
I had not been feeling well but I wanted to go to the gym and see if that might get my blood flowing a little bit (not sure how smart that idea was to begin with). Well, I made it to the gym successfully (check!) and went to do a few stretches before hitting the treadmill. I didn’t have my Ipod, which running without music is already enough to make you want to shoot yourself in the foot, so I was just humming to myself. Well, as I started to do a few stretches, a girl came over and started talking to me. We had spoken a few times before but I certainly was not expecting what came next.
We starting talking about workouts, which later led to family, which later led to family hardships, which later led to a negative childhood, which later led to relationship problems, which later led to low self-worth which ended in her voicing her pessimistic view on life. Basically, we talked about everything and somehow the conversation just flowed.
To be honest, my heart just kind of broke for a few minutes as i listened. I knew her life wasn’t a walk in the park because she worked many jobs while paying for her own school but I definitely didn’t know all of this.
It was like hearing bomb after bomb dropping. As if one wasn’t destructive enough, another hit was next.
“I don’t believe that people are inherently good. I mean, the way I see it, if you give any person enough time, they will eventually screw you over,” she said.
My mind started sorting through these thoughts, her chain-linked list of negative life events and even my heart wondered why she had been through so much yet seemed to work so hard.
I looked at the clock, I had already spent thirty minutes listening but I knew I needed to stay planted exactly where I was. I completely swiveled my body towards her so we were no longer sideways next to eachother.
Two almost strangers sharing eachother’s testimony? How does that work? Well, Jesus intervened (like He always does).
“Yeah, you’re right”, I said. (Cleere, WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER SHE IS RIGHT? THAT IS NOT ENCOURAGING! is what my brain was saying but I kept going). “I guess a lot of people will let you down. We all have so many flaws. Thinking about my own is kind of overwhelming and those are just the ones off the top of my brain. BUT as much as I have seen people disappoint and disappointed people myself, I have also witnessed the love that people can surprise you with, the people who walk into your life and they make each heartbreak before worth every second. I guess that’s why we sacrifice the hurt, for the knowing that someone will pick up those pieces. What is life without relationships and friendships anyway?”, I said.
She looked at me, pulled her hair away from her face and lifted it back up with a tear in her eye.
“Yeah, I don’t think there is a point I guess. Maybe I should believe some people are good. After all, my mother is the only reason I’m still alive.” she said back to me. “That’s really true that we need to offer people forgiveness and grace. Thank God my mom has done that for me.”
We continued to talk about anything and everything and as she smiled and I smiled back, I could hear Jesus laughing. He was totally LOVING this!
“Aren’t you glad I plan your days and you don’t always get a say, my daughter?” He asked. And my answer to Him? “Always, Jesus. Always.”
I didn’t do any working out but as it turns out Jesus is more concerned with making His Kingdom bigger than making my muscles bigger. Besides, the soul-food was so healthy for me, a SERIOUS blessing to my heart.
It is times like tonight that I realize how important it is to cancel my own plans so that I am completely available for His. I want to be used by Jesus but He can only use me if I extend my hand, open my ears and my heart to Him.
How fricken awesome that Jesus wants to use YOU?! Right where you are, exactly as you are, without any changes. Every morsel of you, He finds perfect. Your roadblock: YOU. It’s hard to realize that it only ourselves keeping us from being used by Jesus! Sometimes I let my own insecurities or selfish plans get in the way of blessings He has planned for me, just like having fellowship time with this sweet, incredible new friend of mine!
So thankful for canceled plans.
So Jesus, thank You for putting someone in my life to remind me how good you are to each of us and how closely you pay attention to our needs. Thank you for letting me be used tonight for Your will and letting me put a smile on someone’s face tonight. It makes my heart soar and my spirit fly! You are a good, good God.
Oh how sweet it is to be loved by YOU, Jesus.
Canceling my plans for tomorrow. Pencil me in? Thanks
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