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June 15, 2014
I am not sure where to even start with him.
As I was thinking about what I wanted to write about him or for him, I had a million different topics that came to mind.
His corny but insightful sayings?
His steadfast and truly unwavering support?
His example and influence?
I could honestly write a book about each one but I couldn’t stop thinking about one thing in particular when it comes to my dad:
The way he makes me feel about myself.
He has this uncanny ability to speak directly to my heart and speak truth into a situation that I didn’t even know he was aware of.
In fact, last time I was home, one of our conversations went a little like this:
Dad: “Cleere, what’s wrong?”
Me: “Nothing at all!” (I try to say as bubbly as possible, masking the shakiness in my voice.)
Dad: “Honey, what’s going on?”
Me: “Dad, seriously! No big deal, I’m good.”
Dad: “Put that down and look at me. Talk to me, what’s going on?”
Me :TEARS. Cant. Stop. Crying.
Nothing was terribly wrong but I just was having an off day….and he knew it.
My dad isn’t a quiet man but he certainly doesn’t feel the need to be the center of attention. He is often reserved and just listens.
However, I think that is one of my most favorite things about him.
He doesn’t have to say anything to let me know he cares, he simply is there, always.
He offers this calm and reassuring presence that despite how my world feels like it is crumbling apart, everything will be okay.
When I failed my first college exam, he was the person I wanted to be around.
Not to tell him that news exactly, because let’s be real, he wouldn’t have appreciated my lack of preparation. However, he would have reminded me that my life is not over and that my success is not dependent upon one test.
When I got broken up with for the first time, I could have just stayed in my dad’s hug for forever.
I didn’t need someone to tell me, “It’s cause something better is in store” one more time, and he didn’t do that. He just hugged me, let me cry and told me that sometimes life hurts and he had cried before. I felt understood.
When I received my first promotion, I could not WAIT to call him and let him know the news!
He used to listen to me rehearse flashcards and speeches, sit in the kitchen at the other end of the table while I wrote my papers and called out my spelling words before school when I was little.
He made me FEEL smart.
I say all of these things to say this: While my dads words are precious to my heart, it is His presence that lights up my world.
It’s just him, being there. With me.
It’s this level of comfort and reassurance that I am not sure I can even describe or something that can be duplicated.
I love my daddy so much for that.
And while I beam talking about him, I cant help but be overwhelmed when I think about my Heavenly Father.
After all, He is the one who gave me my earthly dad.
His words are the bread of life, His hands are the maker of the stars and the sky but it is when I am most aware of His sweet presence in my life and in my day that I feel…at home.
Despite the mistakes that have consumed my day, I feel smart, capable and worthy.
My loneliness seems like a distant memory as my heavenly Father and I dance to the melody of a Heavenly tune.
My heart, my soul, my mind, my past, my present, my future, my weaknesses and my past failures, my hopes and all my dreams…everything…it feels simply, well, taken care of.
It’s that reassuring feeling I was talking about earlier.
That front-porch feeling, ya know, the one where you just sit on a rocking chair and you don’t know how to describe how at rest and at peace you feel?
That unsaid, uncanny ability for someone else to just “get” you.
I am so incredibly undeserving of the earthly and heavenly father I have been given.
Around them, I feel secure and accepted.
I feel loved.
And I feel like I am the best “Me” version there is.
Happy Father’s day to all the dads out there, but most of all- to my father, Joey! You are my hero. I hope my husband is a fourth of the man you are and I will always feel special.
And to my Jesus, you are everything good about my father. Thank you for making him for me You have a knack for picking the right one!
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