This morning, as usual, I couldn’t sleep past seven despite the fact that I didn’t have anywhere to be for a few hours.
So, as I laid there, doing the whole, I -can’t-sleep-but-I-can’t-not-be-horizontal-right-now, my mind started to wander.
I started thinking about all the different mistakes I have made and times I have failed.
Not in a way that I was trying to beat myself up for it, but in a way that baffled my heart at the way God has continually forgiven me.
Because we are so imperfect, if we let our minds run on a tangent like this, it has plenty of material to throw at us.
Honestly, I was kinda amazed at my own stupidity, like, “Cleere, how in the WORLD did you not see that coming?”
…for the second time!”
Mentally, you can picture a white board, and I was earning some mad tally points in areas I was not too proud of.
Selfish? Yep, mark it off.
Inconsiderate? Uh, huh.
Stubborn? Go ahead. A couple hundred times actually.
Jealous? Unfortunately, it’s happened.
Whatever area/emotion you think of, I probably had a check beside it.
I laid there and just thought, “Man. And I am only 23!!!”
The truth is, we all have our white boards full of tally points that we wouldn’t claim as our proudest moments.
Times when we have acted out of fear and worry and it has caused us to be selfish or inconsiderate; times when we have allowed our insecurities to drive our emotions and jealousy has plagued our hearts; times when we just have royally messed up so bad, we become stubborn and cold to our Father’s love.
Y’all, we all have A LOT of tally marks.
If our mistakes were bricks, we could re-build the Wall of China.
But you know the crazy truth about all of that?
We have a God who loves us such an insane amount that He WASHES OUR WHITE BOARDS CLEAN EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Knowing that the next day and the next day and the next day, He will have to clean it again.
And that despite the fact that we see what He has done and continues to do for us, we still live in a way that depends on His eraser.
And THEN to top it off…
We are told that there is no condemnation in Christ!
Like He doesn’t just forgive us, He completely, whole-heartedly, lets it go.
I am so glad God doesn’t stop and go, “Wait, Cleere, didn’t I JUST clean this yesterday? “
He patiently and selflessly clears our board everyday, fully confident in our ability to still draw beautiful pictures despite our mistakes.
I don’t know about you, but I am so thankful for a God who offers forgiveness that makes no logical sense.
As I sat there this morning, I couldn’t help but smile.
Woah, you love me a LOT Jesus.
I am so thankful for your big eraser that makes my board white as snow and for your heart that continues to love me without abandonment, no matter how I love you.
Friends, I hope you know that no matter what you have done, the person you have been, the mistakes you have made and the times you have failed, you have a fresh slate.
Not because of how you love, but because of the way your father loves you.
Walk in freedom today, fully aware that His eraser is the only source of renewal your heart needs!
In the words of Outkast, your white board is lookin’ so fresh and so clean clean!
“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” -Isaiah 1:18