You’re having an affair.

you're having an affair blog

Slightly misleading headline? Maybe. Just a little bit, though, Keep reading.

Answer this question for me: What do you retreat to when you are feeling lonely, ashamed, fearful, tired, angry, etc.?

Maybe it’s shopping online. Maybe it’s gambling. Maybe it’s social media (gasp!).Maybe it’s food. Maybe it’s alcohol. Maybe it’s drugs. Maybe it’s pornography.

It could be so many things. Whatever it is that gives you that temporary feeling of relief, that’s your vice. Your go-to. It’s the place that offers some feeling of security, a safe haven of sorts, to escape your feelings of self-hatred, self-pity or fear of the future.

It’s your deceitful distraction; it’s the thing that you swore didn’t control you but now it consumes you.

It’s where you run that you don’t even realize you’re running to, if that makes sense.

Do you know what those things and what those places are?

Affairs. You, friend, are having an affair. And so am I! We all do.

We constantly click on the next shopping deal, when our closets are already overflowing with clothes. We continually reach to food for our fulfillment when it was only meant to be our fuel.  We lustfully view other people, entering in some sort of twisted idea of romance so that we don’t have to deal with our own. We drown our sorrows in another bottle of vodka, desperately wishing someone would rip it out of our hands but we lack that self-control. We spend hours on Instagram or Facebook, comparing ourselves to everyone around us, searching for “likes” to reaffirm our identity.

Why? Why do we do this? Why do we continually run to places that hurt us and habits that destroy us when we know so much better?

We were created with a heart that longs for intimacy. It longs for a deep and constant relationship and one that reassures us of who we are. This relationship was always meant to be with our Jesus, but somehow in the midst of our sin and our shame, we twisted that affection and started searching in other places.

It is not the longing, the desire, the craving of intimacy that is wrong, it is where we search for that fulfillment that leaves us hurting.

Can I tell you something?

Wherever you have been searching, whatever affair that has captured your heart and robbed you of your self-control, you DO have the power to walk away.

Because of the earthly withdrawals and the fear of leaving a comfortable place, ending an affair will never feel good. Obedience often doesn’t feel good but it tastes sweet. 

When you have a rough day and the raw emotions hit you, choose Jesus. I promise, if you just open His word and sit there- even if you don’t read- and you just choose Him, HE WILL MEET YOU THERE.

You have the power, the dedication, the capability and the self-control to stop pursuing the little affairs of your heart that do not satisfy.

Let Him love you. Let Him reach into those depths of your being and speak to your pain, your shame, your dark places.

It’s time to redirect your energy, your time and your effort into the relationship that leaves you so full, confident and joyful, the little affairs of your heart will not stand a chance.

Happy Tuesday, friends!

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” -Philippians 4:8

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