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I don’t think it’s often intentional—like if you knew how much time you were dedicating to being consumed by something you knew you couldn’t change, surely you would change courses, right?
If you knew that fixating on the behavior of another, the choices of another, the lack of consideration of another, or the specifics of a set of circumstances would continue to perpetuate your bitterness, increase your stagnation, and diminish your contentment, you would decide a different way- yes?
And yet—here we are.
I actually noticed this with a particular situation in my life—my friend worded it perfectly: “Cleere, you can’t keep going into the hardware store expecting to buy milk.” I thought I was being optimistic and hopeful but my inability to accept what I couldn’t change caused me to disappointed and more emotionally affected by this situation than I needed to be—over and over and over again.
So if I can’t change them or I can’t alter the circumstances, I MUST alter what I can: my expectations of those interactions, my security attached to the perfect picture of how I wish things were/what they “could be”, and my perspective + purpose as I operate.
This brings freedom to me AND them!
Maybe the circumstances will change or healing will come or reconciliation will take place or particulars will align…but until they do, it would be a shame to waste so much thought, energy, and emotion on something you have no control over when there is SO much that you do.
Also…it’s interesting how this works—when humility leads you and you take authority over where you do stand and responsibility for what is yours, God provides fresh strength + hope for where you are.
Humility paves way for renewed patience and supernatural clarity for what God is doing beneath the surface and IN YOU!
What you refuse to accept what is or obsess over trying to control what isn’t yours to control, it actually controls—you.
So—recognize it!
Welcome God’s grace into the situation.
Understand that asking for milk at a hardware store is your problem, not theirs.
Praise God that prayer works.
Be ruthless about changing what YOU CAN + obedient about releasing what you can’t 🤍
God is in all of this.
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