Don't let your wounds write the narrative

Have you ever noticed how you can receive encouragement from ten people, but somehow the ONE critical comment is what you keep thinking about?
Or how someone can hurt you, and long after the moment has passed, you realize you’re still making decisions with their opinion in mind?

Sometimes it’s a passing comment from a family member that leaves us feeling like we have something to prove. Other times, it’s a deeper wound from someone we trusted, and we don’t realize how much it’s changed the way we see ourselves and others.

We can unknowingly give the people who hurt us more influence over who we’re becoming than the people who have faithfully loved us.

We work harder to prove someone wrong, we assume intentions before asking questions and we become guarded around people who have given us every reason to feel safe. And often, we don’t connect those REACTIONS to the EXPERIENCE that shaped them!

I’m not suggesting we dismiss what happened. Some criticism is worth considering, and some wounds require time, wisdom, and healing.
But I wonder how often we’re living in RESPONSE to someone’s opinion rather than from the identity Jesus has already given us?

There are people who have consistently shown up, extended grace, and loved us well. And above all, there’s JESUS, who knows us completely and whose love isn’t dependent on anyone’s opinion. Are we giving them the most room???

I don’t know—I just wonder how much space we allow for the wounds to write the narrative rather than realigning with what’s true and letting the Maker’s opinion determine our banner. It’s so subtle, I don’t think we even realize it.

So here’s something I’m practicing: when I feel unusually defensive or determined to prove myself, I want to ask WHY.
Am I responding to what’s actually happening, or to something that happened before? Am I letting this person’s words tell me who I am?

We can’t choose what people say or do. But with the Holy Spirit’s help, we can choose which voices we allow to shape our responses.

You don’t have to become a response to your wounds. You can become more like Jesus, whose love has already told you who you are🤎