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There’s a pace we can all slip into without even realizing it.
Quick to respond.
Quick to explain.
Quick to make sure we are understood.
Just quick. We expect it of ourselves and we assume it’s just the normal.
And if we are honest, it doesn’t always come from confidence…it rarely does. Underneath the speed of our responses is often something deeper:
A need to be understood.
A fear of being overlooked.
A desire to be right.
An instinct to protect.
But this week, I started paying attention. Like really close attention.
I noticed how often I was forming my response while someone else was still talking.
How quickly I wanted to defend a point before I had fully understood what was being said.
How natural it felt to fill the space instead of sit in it.
And it humbled me. Helped me open my eyes to often we listen with the filter of, “How does this affect me?”
Or responding quickly felt like I had more control over a situation or their response.
But wisdom doesn’t rush to be heard.
It’s willing to pause. To listen. To let the moment breathe.
To really lean into the heart of the one speaking.
I’m learning that when I feel emotionally charged—hurt, frustrated, misunderstood—that’s usually my cue to wait, not react. It’s when I really want to respond that wisdom has taught me it’s best to not. To wait. To pray. To ask the Holy Spirit what is true, kind, and necessary.
Not forever though—that’s avoidance (I’ve also done that.)
But long enough for my heart to settle and my perspective to realign.
And almost every time I wait…something shifts.
My tone softens.
My understanding deepens.
My words become less about proving a point and more about protecting the relationship in front of me.
What feels urgent in the moment is rarely what matters most.
“You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” -James 1:19
Not just a communication tip—a different way of living. A different way of leaning in. A different way of loving altogether.
If you’ve felt that internal rush too, I wrote more about this over on Substack today—it’s free to read. I pray it challenges you like it did me 🤍
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