Learning the difference between helping and rescuing

on June 24, 2026

 

What if some of the experiences we’re most eager to save our children from are the very experiences that would help them discover what they’re capable of?

We want to protect them. Encourage them. Clear obstacles where we can. Spare them unnecessary frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, and most definitely heartache.

But I’ve started to wonder if one of the greatest tensions of parenting is learning the difference between helping and rescuing? (Which i think is directly correlated to us confusing control with responsibility.)

I think if we relate this to our Heavenly Father, it’s helpful to discern—and to recognize that shepherding ALLOWS for the sheep to struggle or else they will never understand trust or dependence.
If He spared us from the trials or rescued us every time we experienced pain (which, His ability to remove our struggle is far greater than anything we are capable of), wouldn’t we miss being refined to be like Him? Wouldn’t we would miss out on developing the grit, faith, and strength we pray for?!

To be honest, when I think about this with Sledge, there are moments when I realize I’m stepping in simply because watching him struggle is uncomfortable or hard FOR ME.
But what he needs from me? The belief that HE CAN DO HARD THINGS!
The faith that he has the tenacity, resilience, and emotional agility to fall, get up, + try again.
My goodness, hasn’t he proven that to me a million times over?!

Sometimes, we don’t realize that all our “helping” (pure intentions) sends the message:
Not, “I’ve got you.”
But, “I don’t think you’ve got this.”
That thought stops me in my tracks.

This conversation with Sissy Goff and David Thomas centered around their new book, “Capable”, challenged me deeply.

Maybe one of the greatest gifts we can give our children isn’t removing every obstacle from their path.
Maybe it’s helping them discover that God has equipped them for more than they realize.

Just like us, until we are on the OTHER side of something, we often severely underestimate the God in us.

I pray this conversation encourages you! And I am serious when I say that @sissygoff + @raisingboysandgirls content + resources are 18/10.
Episode is live 🤍 Listen now

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