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We’ve talked about this many times. This isn’t revolutionary. You know this and I know this—holding onto offense only hurts you. Kills your effectiveness. Weighs you down. Hardens your heart. Filters your perspective. And makes you operate from a place that is absolutely not who you are. EVEN WHEN IT’S SMALL. And yet—and yet—here we are. We still do it.
I could post this every single day and we’d still have to return to it.
As I was thinking about WHY—I think a lot of the time, it’s because the moment offense arrives, it doesn’t feel like a choice. It feels automatic. Reflexive. Like your heart just closes around it before your brain even has a chance to weigh in. And by the time you realize you’re carrying it—you’ve already built a pretty convincing case for why you should be.
It was valid. It was real. It mattered. IT HURT.
And maybe it was. Maybe it did. A lot. That’s all so valid. Big or small things—either way.
But there is a difference between something being real and something being worth carrying. And most of us were never taught how to tell the difference—so we just carry everything. Every sideways comment, + unmet expectation becomes weight.
And slowly—so slowly we don’t even notice—we get heavier. More guarded. More filtered in how we see people. Less free in how we love them. We stop walking into rooms with our hands open. We start editing ourselves around certain people. We lose access to a joy that was always meant to be ours.
All over something we convinced ourselves wasn’t even a big deal.
Here’s what I keep coming back to though. Jesus didn’t model forgiveness from a place of comfort or convenience. He modeled it from a cross—before an apology, before accountability, or before anything was made right.
And if that’s the standard, then forgiveness was never meant to be a feeling we wait for. It’s a DECISION we make. A quiet, daily, sometimes gritted-teeth decision to release what we were never designed to carry.
The version of you that puts it down is lighter. More present. More aware of the Father in the room.
So today—before the moment comes or in the middle of it already having come—YOU GET TO CHOOSE.
Put it down.
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