Winter seasons

My dear friend fidgeted with the pens in her hands, as though she was letting herself come to a hard conclusion before vocalizing, and then she lifted her head and said, “You know, I think I’m just in a winter season and it has been hard. I am so grateful but it’s also brutal.”

My response: “I am, too. And I think silence finally helped me embrace it instead of praying for spring.”

Ugh.
Winter seasons are hard. There’s no skirting around it.
Sometimes it looks like removing and replacing a lot of the external factors around you, forcing an internal shift.
Sometimes the circumstances of life feel oddly great + internally, there is a restlessness, or fear you can’t shake…and that can be even harder to discern.

Understanding the season you’re in can feel hard when you’re constantly comparing the state of your fruit to those around you.
Maybe it feels like they’re in harvest and the disparity is obvious…
Or maybe their winter feels unbearable so who are you to claim yours is heavy?
But there is only one who can speak to the state of your soil + the depth of your roots—and that is the Holy Spirit.
He is so deeply committed to the formation of your soul, He will let the ground go completely barren if it means preserving the health of your roots.

I was hesitant to post- and sometimes am hesitant to even voice to those close—that I am in a winter season b/c it has nothing to do with me feeling grateful. Or joyful. Or expectant. Or close to God.
In fact, I oddly feel those in SPADES. But I also am feeling the brunt of slow timelines, closed doors, + uncertainty. It’s strange—I feel God solidifying + securing the sanctuary of my soul, while also screaming out, “CAN WINTER BE OVER!?”

The weight of special needs parenting— advocating while also trusting,
Owning a small business in an unpredictable + oversaturated marketplace,
Yearning for another child while also knowing He’s working in us a peace if that prayer looks different,
Navigating the complexities of relationships + not being able to rush the healing process,
You know. Everyone has their version.

Talking to Jesus this morning + here’s where I’m at: SO grateful for winter. Turns out, He knows best ❄️